


Insight

by NeverMessWithTeddyBears



Category: The Heights (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25772566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverMessWithTeddyBears/pseuds/NeverMessWithTeddyBears
Summary: Helena, for her part, looks around and moves closer, her voice softer when she speaks. "It's Sully, isn't it?"
Relationships: Ash Jafir & Sully Tran, Ash Jafir/Sully Tran
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Insight

Ash's head is pounding from yet another self-delegated twenty-four hour driving shift as he goes straight to the side of the room where the coffee was brewed and someone - his guess was either Iris or Pav - had also brought and put out a variety of donuts and scones. The scalding liquid warms him through the plastic of the cup, and Ash let's it wake him up.

He had planned on sleeping in, however the community had other plans and his uncle had gotten him out of bed after only a few hours of sleep, talking quickly about Juliana Worsefield and a residents meeting at what felt like the crack of dawn.

Ash takes the first sip of his coffee and sighs just as he feels someone brush up against him and he tenses, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up in alert and he doesn't even have to look to know who it is. Still, Ash has always been weak, so he turns his head to catch Sully's eyes with his own. Ash's shoulders relax as he tries to smile and nod in hello, his brain working at an alarming speed to try and come up with anything even remotely acceptable to say when all Ash really wants to do is pull Sully away to actually continue - or just have - the conversation he wanted - needed, wished for - that night when he ended up driving Sully and his friends to a party. But everyone is here, and no matter how much Ash wished it didn't matter, it does.

"Any coffee left?" Sully asks and it breaks Ash away from his thoughts as he looks down to the pot he was still holding for some reason, and Ash considers passing it to Sully for the briefest of moments before admitting to himself that touching Sully in any way wouldn't be the greatest idea before Ash's had at least one cup of coffee.

Instead, he nods for Sully to bring his cup over. "Yeah, let me pour you one." Ash says, looking back up at Sully for a second before focusing on the cup, afraid he'd lose himself and spill everything.

When he's done, Sully gives him a tight smile - Ash hates it, misses Sully's open smiles and heartfelt laughs, misses too many things to name, wishes he could have them but knowing he can't as he's gone and fucked it all up - and nods. "Thanks."

They look at each other, lingering for just a beat too long - a beat enough to give Ash some hope, to maybe push for that conversation somewhere else, as soon as this meeting is done, as soon as he can - before Sully turns away and leaves to sit next to Iris.

Ash sighs, one of those that he's been doing lately that make his entire body sag with exhaustion, and finally puts the pot down so that he's no longer hogging the coffee. Cursing under his breath, he takes another sip, his eyes closed.

"I get it now." Ash barely contains the jump at Helena's voice as he opens his eyes and turns look at her standing there next to him with a half-eaten _pastizzi_ in one hand and her phone in another. She doesn't look angry or heartbroken like she did the last time he saw her, leaving his car and going back into her house; rather, she just looks as if she's cracked a code she's been working on for a while. And Ash thinks she probably has; thinking every moment they've ever had together over again, wondering how she didn't see it, and a part of him is still so guilty over hurting her like that, and Ash doesn't think that guilt will ever go away.

"Get what?" he asks, trying to act uninterested.

Helena, for her part, looks around and moves closer, her voice softer when she speaks. "It's Sully, isn't it?" the question is both an answer for itself yet equal parts to that curious and understanding. Ash involuntarily tenses but forces himself to not check if anyone's near. Calls it progress. "It all makes sense now. Him being your best mate yet you never talking about him, never introducing us. Understanding how my parents wouldn't have approved of my ex. Being hung up on someone, having your heart broken-"

Ash visibly winces at that, the pain as fresh as it was the night behind the _Railway_ when Sully walked away. "Helena-"

"It's always been Sully."

She says it so easily, as if it wouldn't take everything out of him to do the same, and the taste of coffee leftover in Ash's mouth turns bitter at that. He wants nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops; wants nothing more than to be back in Sully's van all those months ago, moving in slowly as he kisses Sully and feels him kiss back, placing a hand on Sully's cheek as he deepens the kiss, a thought in the back of his head wanting nothing more than for Sully to move the hands off the wheel and touch him back. To be lost in that moment forever, the moment before he pulled away and left the car to see Kam standing on the other side of the street; to the moment everything finally felt right and Ash finally felt happy.

Instead, all Ash says is, "Always." and his already soft voice breaks even at that. Still, Helena hears it and suddenly the look on her face changes into something almost mournful.

Ash clears his throat and walks away.


End file.
